So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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