Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
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what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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