It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
