i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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