I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
