Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up