There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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