She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.