It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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