There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
