Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties