i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to