No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.