Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
