if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Houston, we have a squirter
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize