Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
