we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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