she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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