I hope mine doesn't look like that
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
