I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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