Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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