Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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