So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
