More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
