Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
