no, he came in my armpit
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
