..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
