Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
