i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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