Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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