FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
