Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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