so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
