So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
