You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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