Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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