Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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