guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize