I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize