I'm eating all of the evidence.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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