OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
