Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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