Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
