My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
