oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
