Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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