Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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