there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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