it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
