google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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