My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My dick has a subreddit
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
