oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize