It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
