Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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