smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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