I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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