i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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