Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
