cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have feelings that need drinking.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize