tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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