Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
