Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize