Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
