Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
