And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
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He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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