He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
