Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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