You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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