I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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